A Ramble On Sunlight and Spiritual Enlightenment

Today is a better Sunday than last Sunday was. The sun has come out after days of cloudy gloominess and all the windows in my apartment are open, letting in the sunshine in slanting, beautiful lines across the hardwood floor. It’s something that I love about this apartment, the windows and the way they let in the light, like a reflection of the way I’m trying to open up my soul, to feel the light that is waiting to be let in. I’m feeling very peaceful with where I’m at in the present, too. I think I have a tendency to always be stuck in the past and the future, which is very common, but very sad. I know when I’m able to find true presence and contentment in the moment I am living, there is so much clarity to be found in that space. It makes me want to re-read the Power of Now. I read it when I was 19, and I feel like I would get a lot more out of it now.

For the last little bit, I’ve been stuck in a little storm cloud of discontentment, wanting things I can’t have, wishing circumstances were different. But there are so many little and wonderful blessings in my life right now to be enjoyed, there is sunshine and good books, there are the little pieces of spiritual enlightenment I keep finding day by day. There are good people in my life and the love they bring. And there is possibility! So much endless possibility for the future in front of me, so many dreams and so many things to create. I want to mention a few things here that happened this week that made me feel enlightened and brought just a little bit closer to the potential for purpose I am chasing.

The first one has to do with my spiritual journey. Well, actually they both do in a way but this one more directly. I feel that I have been learning so much from other women of faith recently and their perspectives on the individuality of a relationship with God and how it can color your life. Specifically Sasha Piton, who has an Instagram account, @themormonhippie, where she discusses her beliefs on religion and revelation in a pretty non-traditional, but extremely honest, love-filled authentic way. I resonate with almost everything she says so much it’s crazy. And I feel like I still have so so much to learn when it comes to my relationship with God and seeking my own divine revelation that will guide me to where I need to be in life, but having role models in love and openness and faith have helped me so much to be able to see that religion does not have to equal shame, or fear, or discomfort, or compromising your values, but that it can and should be something that helps you feel confident, and secure, and joyful in your ability to seek your own revelation from God, knowing that it is an individual journey and not one that any other human being can tell you how to travel. Sasha’s main thing that she says when anyone asks her for advice is “Don’t go to me for advice, go to God.” It’s her motto and her prayer that every person who is struggling with their faith or having questions about how to deal with a certain situation will learn to go to God for their validation instead of other people. I just–can’t even imagine how different churches and religion would be if everyone went to God with their insecurities and questions instead of trying to seek validation or approval from their church communities and leaders. It’s powerful stuff, and I really, really want to learn how to be that confident in seeking my own revelation. I’m not there yet. But I am trying to get there, starting with strengthening my relationship with Christ. I was watching a recording of a livestream that Sasha did after General Conference and she mentioned a book called The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd. Apparently it’s a fictional account of the wife of Jesus and the life she lived as well as watching Jesus come into his ministry from a young age. Just–as soon as I heard her talk about this book I felt an extremely STRONG feeling of love and power and an impression that I needed to get the book. So I bought it and it came today and I can’t wait to read it! I’ve realized recently that I have always learned so much more through stories and fiction books than I do from non-fiction stuff–obviously I still read non-fiction books and articles and things, but I feel that fiction has a more powerful ability than anything else to teach us things and help us connect with important principles and ideas on an emotional level. And I feel like I have read so many non-fiction sort of articles, talks and scriptures about the life of Jesus, and maybe in order to truly connect with him I have to turn to some fiction, fiction that might be a little less traditional and a little more open minded, to find the connection I’m looking for.

This post turned out to be really long, so I’m going to save the rest of my thoughts for next week. I’ve been feeling much more drawn to posting about religious/spiritual topics lately. I really don’t know if that’s because there’s someone who needs to hear it, or if it’s leading me to something else in the future, but I hope you enjoyed today’s post. If you did, I’d love it if you left a comment and I hope you have a lovely day!

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